football

I recently discovered that I really really like football. Over the past couple years, my friends and I have developed a sort of tradition where we go to my friend Rob's house and watch football every Sunday. It started as a couple of us going down to watch football on Monday nights, but then it morphed into Sundays when Rob moved into his new house. We take turns bringing food, and Rob and Sarah (Rob's wife, not me) provide the drinks, chips, dips, and NFL package. It's nice. Originally, it was a reasons to hang out with friends and eat Rob's amazing cookies, but I've really started to enjoy football.

So I guess it comes as no surprise that I've started thinking about football, and I included the previous paragraph so that my next thought wouldn't be taken as snide or negative, but...

I DON'T GET WHY FOOTBALL IS SO POPULAR.

There, I said it.

I've been honestly thinking about this for a few months. Let's look at some facts:

1. Football is really difficult to understand. I've been watching it pretty faithfully for about three years now, and I just now feel like I have a pretty good grasp on the whole thing. So much of it seems like a drunk monkey was given a typewriter and someone decided to go with whatever said monkey came up with. Seven points? And then a chance to get either another one point or another two points, deciding how you play the ball? Or, instead of going for seven, you can kick the ball and get three? Huh? Where are these numbers coming from? And why do you randomly get four chances to move it 10 yards? And why yards? The thing is, there are a lot of sports that make a lot more sense. Basketball is really straightforward: put this ball in this hole and score two points. If you do it from far away, you get an extra. If you do it without someone in your way, you only get one. Baseball even makes more sense: You work together to keep hitting the ball away from the opponent and get someone all the way around the circle. Hockey: Hit this disk-y thing into a net and get a point. Soccer: Ditto, except kick, and ball. Most Americans can explain, with fairly little difficulty, the rules of the above sports, but ask someone who isn't a sports fan to explain football, and they will most likely have some trouble.

2. Football really relies on certain body types to work. We all know what a linebacker's build is. Granted, there are different body types for different positions, but generally, football players are really thick and built. And yes, basketball requires tall people, and soccer requires thin people, but a certain amount of skill and dedication can result in a skilled player who doesn't fit the body type. Football doesn't have that--if you're 5'9" and a medium build, you just can't play center. Sorry. But, if you're 5'9" and a medium build (I fairly average body type, I'd wager), you can be successful in many of the other sports I've mentioned.

3. Football takes huge numbers of people to play. Yeah, you can play a pick-up game with maybe 5 people per side, but that's pretty much the minimum. Two on two basketball? No sweat? 3 on 3 baseball (with ghost players, obviously), yeah probably. Football? Invite all your friends. You'll need 'em.

4. Football hurts. Even if you're playing touch, somebody's gonna get knocked down. Trust.

Do you see what I'm getting at? I just don't get it. The only thing I can think of to explain the popularity of football is marketing.

Marketing.

Yep.

Think about it: football only airs during the weekend. College is on Saturday; pro is on Sunday. Yeah, Monday night and Thursday night football are there, but they're a big deal too. They have special theme songs. You invite people over to watch it. Other sports don't have that. Basketball isn't even on network TV! I think it's on TNT on Tuesday and Thursday nights, but I'm not sure. Baseball? No clue! The only time baseball even enters my realm on consciousness is when FOX cancels my shows for the world series.

Marketing. Programming. Whatever.

Football is popular because of when it's on TV.

Which is either a brilliant move on the part of football franchise owners, or a really sad commentary on the basis of popularity in America.